Does a 25 Year Old Have What it Takes?

I am a Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. You probably don’t know what that means. 

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you are aware of health coaching, and maybe you even have an idea of what a health coach does, but no offense, chances are your best explanation is vague and inaccurate. 

Throughout my years as a coach, I have encountered a recurring problem. I experience it with clients as well as health professionals, such as personal trainers, nutrition professionals, and even medical doctors. 

People who are aware of the health coaching profession have a vague, yet confident understanding of what coaches actually do, and, in turn, behave in one of two ways:

• They assume the coaching role themselves, without any knowledge of, or training in conversational interventions, and oftentimes do not help their clients succeed

Or

• They do not believe coaching to be an effective and useful intervention, imparting their opinion on clients and people who may benefit from coaching

My views were further validated when I posted the following polls on social media:

• Can a 25 year old be a good Life Coach?

• Can a 25 year old be a good Health Coach?

• Why or why not?

The majority of people deemed a 25 year old to be an inadequate life coach, yet the majority also deemed a 25 year old to be an adequate health coach.

The most common reason was that a 25 year old is not experienced enough to give life advice but can obtain enough knowledge to provide health advice. For those who voted in favor of 25 year olds, their opinion was that a 25 year old can be wise enough to give good life and health advice. 

This data and feedback illustrates my point. People assume a coach’s job is to give advice, and this inaccurate representation of coaching causes people to inappropriately determine who can be a good coach, what constitutes good coaching, and if it’s even effective. 

In a nutshell, health coaches help people set the right goals, and establish the perspectives, habits, and routines that align with those goals.

As per my experience, the general public views coaching as a listen and prescribe process, similar to a conventional doctor/patient exchange. The coach listens to what the client wants to achieve, shares with the client all the information they know about the topic, and then provides the client with advice on how to proceed. This is a big misconception. 

“..the coach is primarily an investigator and question asker.”

In reality, health coaches take a client-centered approach to coaching. This means we collaborate with clients, as opposed to instruct, to figure out what goals are important, and how to accomplish those goals in a sustainable, enjoyable, and realistic manner. 

The client-centered approach makes perfect sense. Who is best suited to determine the goals and actions that are most realistic for the client; the coach (who is usually a stranger in many ways), or the client themself?

When client-centered, the coach is primarily an investigator and question asker. Their job is to be curious about their client's situation, ask powerful questions, and respond with reflections, affirmations, and feedback that provoke critical and progressive thinking by the client. 

“To bypass the client and go straight to the coach’s opinion rarely results in client action and sustained efforts.”

There is a time and a place for coaches to give advice, but it is almost always after first exploring the client’s knowledge, skills, and personal vision. To bypass the client and go straight to the coach’s opinion rarely results in client action and sustained efforts. There are times when the coach’s advice is not needed at all. And times when the coach doesn’t have an answer when the client needs one. At that point, the coach has to find additional resources.

A coach does not need to be personally experienced in what the client is going through in order to effectively help that person overcome their challenges. With all the things people experience in the world, how could that even be possible? 

So with that being said, can a 25 year old be curious about their clients situation and needs? 

Are 25 year olds capable of asking thought provoking questions, and responding in ways that promote further thinking and problem solving? 

Can they help their clients establish action plans, accountability systems, and provide support?

I certainly think so. 

For those who still think 25 year olds are too young to be a good coach (brain development is just coming to a close), I somewhat agree. Time spent on this planet is incomparable. With age comes wisdom and compassion, especially as it pertains to client outcomes and tendencies, but is it a requirement to be able to listen and respond with curiosity?

Personal Trainers, if your clients improved something about their stress, nutrition, sleep, or NEAT, how would that impact your training results? How might collaborating with a health coach help your clients and your business? CLICK HERE and let me know what your clients struggle with, and what I can do to help.

If you’re interested in signing up for coaching, what do you envision for your health in the future? How can working with a health coach help you be successful and maintain that success over time? CLICK HERE to learn more about how my 8-week coaching program can help you achieve more.

Comment below and let me know what you think about this topic. Does a 25 year old have what it takes? Tell me why you agree.. or why not! 

Thank you for reading!

Gerard

Racism and Protest Through the Lens of Biology

The research cited in this article can be found in “Behave” by Robert Sapolsky

In the last few months, Americans have witnessed the murders of unarmed black men at the hands of white vigilantes and police officers. These are unfortunately not isolated incidents, as violence and discrimination towards minority groups has plagued American for well over a century. 

The horrific perspectives, actions and behaviors of racists, xenophobes, homophobes, anti-semites, and other hate-based groups have been supported, encouraged, and made mainstream since the election of a presidential demagogue. 

The murder of George Floyd, at the hands of a police officer, is the tipping point which activated protests across the country. In Brooklyn, NYC, blocks away from where I was raised and currently live, these protests turned violent, as protesters clashed with the NYPD and set fire to police cruisers and vehicles. 

As a 34 year old lifelong resident of Brooklyn, I have never seen anything as intense or remarkable as the riots that occurred this past weekend. As a white male, I am incapable of fully understanding how these times have impacted the psyche and health of the black community. As a Jew, I am no stranger to the reception of hate, discrimination, and violence. Although I have not personally experienced blatant antisemitism, I feel the sting and deep, burning anger and sadness when I read about anti-Jewish violence in other parts of the country and world. 

Finally, as a Health Coach who studies human behavior and decision making, this writing is an attempt to consolidate my thoughts through the lens of behavioral science, and try my best to add value and purpose to the conversation regarding our current socio-racial landscape. 

Before we can change people’s behavior, it may be best to try and understand the reasons why people behave the way they do. The following is an incomplete and superficial list of factors that influence decision making:

• Prenatal environment

• Genes

• Hormones

• Historical culture of where your ancestors grew up

• Current culture and societal norms where you grew up

• Childhood experiences

• Blood glucose levels

• Sleep quality and quantity

• Stress hormone levels

• Pain

• Dopamine D4 receptor gene variant

• Cognitive load from the last 5 minutes

• Amount of time you have to react

• Interacting with an “Us” or a “Them”

And so on...

As we can see, behavior is complicated, and understanding why people make certain decisions is an insanely tall order. That being said, let's make an attempt to understand the actions of both sides of our current situation; the protesters, and the supremacists. 

Why do the protesters lash out and become violent? Why do people of color (POC), black people in particular, live in fear? How does our societal organization promote inequality and poor mental health?

When people who are not valued in society are beat down and suppressed, they lash out and redirect their suffering. People of lower status living in unequal societies become less kind and more likely to displace their anger onto those lower down the pecking order. This can potentially explain the looting and destruction of business and infrastructure. The redirection of negative energy is an evolutionary strategy used to reduce stress and suffering. It is nature’s tool for comfort and relief, and is behavior demonstrated by many different species across the world, such rhesus monkeys. 

By directing negative energy and physical aggression to businesses, infrastructures, and police vehicles, people are reducing the amount of discomfort they are experiencing, even if minimal. I work in a high school, and see teenagers behave this way often. After an intense disagreement or argument with a teacher or peer, after being reprimanded by a disciplinarian, after being yelled at by a coach, a student may punch a wall, slam a door, throw a desk, or scream out curses in frustration. It is a physical response that was normal when we were hunter-gatherers, but is now looked at as uncivilized in the modern world. Unfortunately, our environment evolved faster than our biology. After years of attempts at peaceful protest, should we be surprised and appalled that violence and rioting has finally emerged? Evolution tells us that it makes sense and is the next logical step. “Giving ulcers can help you avoid getting them.” (Sapolsky)

How does the brain of a high school student differ from the brain of a matured adult? We know that the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the modern part of the brain responsible for high level thinking, analytical processing, reasoning and executive decision making is not as developed in a teenager. The PFC can override the amygdala, which is a more ancient part of our brain that coordinates responses to our environment, especially those which trigger an emotional response. The amygdala plays an important role in fear and anger. With less PFC oversight, our fear and anger response is heightened. This is why teens are typically more violent than adults, and act on impulse, rather than reason, to a larger degree.

How does this apply to our current conversation? What does childhood deprivation and inequality do to a person’s brain? How does rank in current society play a role? How does hereditary rank (our rank back in the day) play a role? Society today is unequal. Equality in the past was even worse. People who experience this type of exposure, with the addition of genes inherited from slave ancestors, are predisposed to higher levels of amygdala activation and lower PFC activation. This can help explain the fearful and violent emotional states that a POC may be experiencing at this time. It is partly due to cultural norms of the past and present. 

Additionally, the PFC consumes huge amounts of energy to function properly. With centuries worth of stress, fearful apprehension, and high cognitive load from Covid-19, PFC function will tire out. As we lose our ability to reason in a “modern” way, we will revert to the biological stress responses of our ancestors. POC are rioting in response to the current climate? Again, it makes sense. That being said, rioting, although mostly driven by anger and fear, also comes from a place of reason, value and compassion. We must understand that these responses are justifiable on a biological level, and to attempt to separate people from their biology would be an attempt at removing their humanity.  

How can biology explain the behavior of racists, xenophobes, anti-semites and so on? As we mature from adolescents to adults, we learn to separate people and groups into categories of “Us” and “Them.” We view “Thems” as different and inferior to the inherited mainstream. This is seen in babies as well, although the younger the person, the less likely there will be values attached to the distinction. 

This distinction is, at times, accidental and seemingly innocent, such as a teacher telling the class to “Sit down, girls and boys.” In other situations, this separation is purposeful and can be due to strongly held beliefs inherited from past and present cultures. “Uses” are prone to foster negative feelings towards the “thems.” Hatred, disgust, contempt, homogeny, and viewing others, worst of all, as less than human comes with the territory. If we are prejudiced against one group, we tend to be prejudiced against others, and a leader condoning prejudice will only strengthen a culture of hatred and violence. 

On the flip side, just as we are negative about “them” we tend to be more generous and forgiving towards our own kind. We feel more empathy and compassion. If we watch a video of a hand being poked with a sharp object, our own hand clenches, but more strongly if the video is that of a hand from our own race. If we screw up, it's a special circumstance. If they screw up, it's because that's how they are. 

We form opinions about others after the subliminal, negative signaling. Hate first, then explain later why the hate is justifiable, because we do not like being wrong. “The road to hell is paved with rationalizations.” (Sapolsky)

How does this play out in our brain? Show someone an image of a person from a different race for fifty milliseconds, and a brain scan will show high amygdala activity (fear, aggression) and lower activity in the PFC, as compared to images of people of the same race. 

Additionally, the fusiform gyrus, a part of the brain responsible for facial recognition, and facial expression, sheds some light on this question. Expose someone to a picture of a person from a different race with a neutral expression, and we perceive it as threatening, not neutral. This does not hold true of pictures of people from the same race. The brain processes information about gender, social, and/or economic status within milliseconds and can be based on next to nothing.

These attempts at explaining behavior are in no way exhaustive and could be highly debatable, as I am not a behavioral psychologist nor an expert on the topic. I am scratching the smallest part of an enormous surface. Regardless, society needs to change. We need to move past old evolutionary traits that no longer serve a purpose. We need to figure out how to address these insanely complex problems we face today. The answer will most certainly be holistic and focus on many different aspects of life, however, I think we can start by changing how we view each other. We need to end the discrimination and negative bias of “thems.” We need to end duality and recognize that we are all the same. We are all “us.”

How do we do that? We start with children. We educate them to recognize that we are “constantly being shaped by seemingly irrelevant stimuli, subliminal information, and internal forces we don’t know a thing about.” (Sapolsky) They need to be self aware. They need to be environmentally aware. This awareness is the first step, and changing our dualistic approach is next. No more “Take your seats, boys and girls.” No more hateful rivalries between schools. No more hierarchies and totem poles. We need to embrace the notion that we are all the same. Let the generation of people immersed in the dualistic style of thinking fade away. Children are the future. Lets create the type of society that does not predispose them to amygdala activation. Let them develop a PFC that supports and acknowledges diversity and inclusiveness. Our words and behaviors are bigger than we can imagine. Let us break down the barriers of separation and break the mold that created a divide in society.  We need to eliminate the notion of thems, there is only us.

“An unexpected pleasure yesterday is what we feel entitled to today, and what won't be enough tomorrow.” (Sapolsky) The movement will never stop. It will not go away. Once we experience minimal progress, such as the sentencing of a murderous police officer, we will demand more. This is the workings of the dopamine system and it will ensure that we will not accept the status quo, and continue to push for a better tomorrow, because today is not good enough.